For the past few days, I've been lacking way too much sleep. So many things to worry about and so little time to get it all figured out. I feel like I'm reaching deadlines after deadlines. IN a way, I'm glad I"m busy like this because time flies and I don't have a lot of time to think about things. Right now, I feel annoyed. WHy? because I have time to think about stuff that I don't necessarily want to think about. I really don't like it when people go back on their words. My head hurts. I'm tired. I getting a lot of random thoughts in my head. Stuff I write probably won't make any sense since I"m just writing down random stuff that I think about as I think them. I wonder what kind of haircut I"m gonna end up getting. Should I dye my hair too? I want to. I wanna dye it like purple or something. k I'm gonna knock out. peace.

Happy is knowing that you are happy...

It was and still is a bitter sweet ending, but I know that my strength is in You right now. The laughter and the tears are gifts that You've given us tonight. I feel so at peace right now and even though I am still hurting, I know it's worth it. I had been hurting for the wrong reasons and now I finally know what the right reasons are. Thank You for helping me to see what I couldn't or didn't want to see before. I know that Your will is greater than mine and I'm ready to accept it.

I will always love you and you will always be in my heart.
6.25.04-8.23.08

New Drinks I've had since I turned 21

Fruit Cup- It was big! I liked it because it didn't taste strong. I could still taste the alcohol but it wasn't too much, so it was like a spiked smoothie. haha.

Rasbellini- This one was stronger and I didn't like it as much. But the presentation is a plus. =]
Black and Gold Martini- This tasted like bailey...until I stirred it up. It was really strong!

Chocolate Cupcake- This shot is the best I've had...well actually I like the orange tictacs a lot..but this really tasted like a chocolate cupcake..hence I took two! haha.

Long Island Peach Ice Tea- Remind me never to order this again. It was too strong for my taste and didn't taste that great. =\

Mango Berry- I actually really liked this. I couldn't taste the alcohol at all. That can be dangerous you know. You never know when it'll hit you. =]

Purple People Eater- Another strong martini but it was a different taste. I liked it.

More to come...later...lol

Defense Mechanisms

So the title has nothing to do with my blog. I'm just in class right now and that's what we're talking about. I'm not really paying attention which isn't a good thing but for some reason I don't really care. Just one of them days where I'm just really consumed by random, lame thoughts in my mind. I was thinking about gifts this morning while driving to class. I think the best part about a gift from someone, at least for me, is the card that comes with it. I enjoy reading the card more than the gift itself. I think it's because when people take the time to write, they usually take the time to think of what to write, and when they can come up with something to write about, I feel like I was worth that time that they spent thinking of what to write about.

Thanks for writing me a card on top of getting me a gift. Your wine is still waiting for you, and your frame is still sitting on my nightstand.

Here's another random thought.

It's okay to feel unhappy about something but want to work towards being happy about it, right? I feel like I've invested so much time and effort trying to work towards a medium but I don't really know where I'm heading towards...

It's really cold in this classroom. It's making me first wanna leave and let the sun bathe me, second, get some food...preferably a tofu salad from Kabuki. Funny how I'm so detailed about what I want. *

Why did I put a star there? I dunno..maybe it's something to think about for my next blog.

Oh another random one..

I'm sorry. I've said it too many times, but I still am, and as long as I'm still sorry, I will continue to say it. Maybe, I'll do something about it instead of saying sorry all the time, but for now, that's all I can do.

OH! I just learned that I'm a repressive coper. Great...

Thank you. That's all I can really think and am thinking of right now.

=]

So, I didn't really do a lot today. I woke up at 12 and thought..oh sh*t I need to wake up...I missed half of my day already. haha. So I woke up and helped my mom with some work. Then I got ready to go to Hat Cai meeting. It was a good meeting. I really enjoyed it. I guess I was able to let out some of the things I held in for a while. So, twas gud. Anyway, Jem is sleeping over tonight. We had a pretty funny little talk about my asus laptop. So she was so amazed at how small it was and she's using it right now. So...

Tracy: yea, it's really small. Sometimes Kirs and Julian would ask me "oh so what movie are you watching?"
Jem: oh?
Tracy: oh cuz my laptop looks like a portable dvd player...
Jem: oh like a psp..
Tracy: huh?
Jem: yea, that's a portable dvd player
Tracy: shouldn't it be pdp then?
Jem & Tracy: LOL

yea, so I thought that was funny even thought I made no sense when I said pdp cus it would be portable dignital...or portable disc player...which doesn't really make sense...

ok so anyway, we're gonna watch The Terminal on sidereel.com now.

GOOD NIGHT!

there is still a hope after hope is gone...I wanna believe that.