The title of this entry is the title to one of the many songs I sang this weekend at Java Jazz Jesus. This weekend for me, was filled with so many blessings. I'm in a band! A real band, with a drummer, key, guitar, and bass. Here's the crazy part though, one of the band members suggested that I learn the bass. LOL! Isn't that funny?! They said it would be more marketable because a girl in a band who can sing and play the bass is hot... I dunno...hot is probably not the word to describe me...maybe "out of her mind." LOL. I'm gonna give it a try because you never know til you try. We still haven't made up our minds about the band name yet, but that will be disclosed in a later blog I guess.
So anyway, I've sort of discovered love anew this past weekend. Discover Love Anew is I guess the catch phrase at the Caritas retreat I went on this past January. I've discovered that I can try to shut off my feelings but in all honesty, all the love that I have still remains. Despite the problems that may have led me to bitterness and resentment before, it all boils down to one thing... I still love.
It was a great feeling to see everyone again at the Caritas reunion. We had a taize prayer which moved me to tears, just like it did at the retreat. I think at that moment, I just felt a lot of love in that room. It was pretty overwhelming.
I had great conversations this weekend that allowed me to learn so much more about myself and about other people. I'm feeling butterflies in my stomach right now just thinking about it.
God really has a way.
i've learned to stop asking why questions and am beginning to ask how questions. Instead of asking "why are my classes such a mess and why isn't there another class I can take so that I won't be missing Mustard Seeds again? Or, why did I get a b+ in a class that I was confident I was going to ace?", I'm beginning to ask, questions like "how can I work my schedule out so that even if I can't come to the meeting, I can still hang out with Hat Cai? and How can I better my study habits so that I will get A's this last quarter?"
Those are just examples. I find that avoiding the "why" questions really helps me to explore the "process" more then just dwelling on what has already happened. It's hard still and I sometimes resort back to asking why, but I'm making a big effort to avoid it. Thank you anh for enlightening me. =]
There's only so much time in a day for us to do what we want to do. If we spend half of it complaining, that's half of it that we've wasted.
This is my last quarter and I want to make it the best. I have great friends who I know will make my last quarter at UCI GREAT! Everything that I've experienced up to this point has made me who I am right now. I'm grateful for all the struggles I went through and even more grateful for all the great moments I've experienced. I refuse to have senioritis! I'm being offered such a great opportunity, that many people only dream of, to learn in a great environment. It may have taken me 4 years to feel this way about my education, but changes start somewhere, and I'm just excited that I have one last chance in my undergrad to do really really well.
It's too bad that I got bad grades throughout my 4 years at UCI, but it's the past. I can't change it and I really don't want to waste my time feeling guilty and sorry that I didn't try as hard as I should have. The present moment is what I'm interested in now. The choices that I've made may not have been very smart, but I still have choices now. I still have a choice to do well, so that's what I'm going to do!
Yay to great friends, family, and God!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Mission Accomplished
It was 1:04am. I took out a pen and a note pad. I began jotting down whatever was running through my mind of memories I had of the last 6 years of my life. If I had written down everything that I could remember, I would probably finish the whole note pad, but I ended at, if I can remember correctly, 6 pages. Somehow, writing it all down made me feel good. I no longer felt pain, or at least the pain I had once felt for a while. This was the beginning of the end. I said my last goodbye...well, not directly.
I checked my phone and 2 hours had gone by. I set my alarm for 6am, said my prayer, and went to sleep...well, I tried to. It wasn't long before I was awakened by the sound of my phone's alarm. I wiped my eyes and did a little stretch. I laid in bed for a couple of seconds thinking, boy, I slept through the night and today's the day. I got up in the midst of darkness, put on a jacket and head out.
My mission was about to begin as I turned on the ignition. "Oh no!" I said. The engine was dying on me and the only thing that was keeping it going was my foot on the gas pedal. If I let go, the engine would've died. I was determined, though, to set out before sunrise. So, with one foot on the gas pedal and the other on the breaks, I reversed and drove out of my driveway. Low and behold, the engine kept going. It didn't die! Success!
So I began driving. My heart was beating a bit faster than usual because of the anticipation. I hadn't driven down this road in so long. Before I knew it, I was making a left turn into the neighborhood. As I came closer, I felt my foot lift from the pedal. As I slowly drove up to the corner, I took in a deep breath.
Now, I had to be quick on my feet and as discreet as possible. I carried it to the front door, took a second to feel the presence of those sleeping inside, and laid it down as gently as possible. I, then, felt the urge to run, so I ran to my car, shut the door, took in another deep breath, and drove away.
I was proud of myself. I was doing so well...until...I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't help it but it was okay to be vulnerable. I just allowed my tears to flow. That was it. It was done, and I drove home alone.
"For he's a jolly good fellow..."
I checked my phone and 2 hours had gone by. I set my alarm for 6am, said my prayer, and went to sleep...well, I tried to. It wasn't long before I was awakened by the sound of my phone's alarm. I wiped my eyes and did a little stretch. I laid in bed for a couple of seconds thinking, boy, I slept through the night and today's the day. I got up in the midst of darkness, put on a jacket and head out.
My mission was about to begin as I turned on the ignition. "Oh no!" I said. The engine was dying on me and the only thing that was keeping it going was my foot on the gas pedal. If I let go, the engine would've died. I was determined, though, to set out before sunrise. So, with one foot on the gas pedal and the other on the breaks, I reversed and drove out of my driveway. Low and behold, the engine kept going. It didn't die! Success!
So I began driving. My heart was beating a bit faster than usual because of the anticipation. I hadn't driven down this road in so long. Before I knew it, I was making a left turn into the neighborhood. As I came closer, I felt my foot lift from the pedal. As I slowly drove up to the corner, I took in a deep breath.
Now, I had to be quick on my feet and as discreet as possible. I carried it to the front door, took a second to feel the presence of those sleeping inside, and laid it down as gently as possible. I, then, felt the urge to run, so I ran to my car, shut the door, took in another deep breath, and drove away.
I was proud of myself. I was doing so well...until...I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't help it but it was okay to be vulnerable. I just allowed my tears to flow. That was it. It was done, and I drove home alone.
"For he's a jolly good fellow..."
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Take Me As I Am
The other night I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I think I mentioned it in my last entry. Anyway, I was bawling half-way through the show. In this episode (you probably shouldn't read this if you haven't seen it yet, I don't want to ruin it for you), there was a patience who's face was disfigured. It was probably from an accident or something but half of his face was sort of cut off (Sorry for the lack of better words). For years, he corresponded with some people through the internet who had become his friends. When they heard he was going to go through surgery for something, they decided to come visit him and to give him support. Mind you, these people had no idea what he looked like but they flew from different areas to come see him. When they came, he panicked and yelled for them to leave. I felt really bad for his friends because they flew in to see him...these friends who have never seen him in real life. It was an old African American woman, a middle-aged Caucasian man and woman.
Dr. Sloan, the surgeon who was going to operate on him, told him that he cannot have the surgery on his own. He needs his friends there for support and something else i can't remember. He said that he didn't want them to see the horror on his face. He didn't want to scare them away because they were his only friends. But, after the talk he was willing to see his friends again.
His friends came back. They came in to see him before his surgery and saw his face. The old woman went up to him, held his hand and kissed his cheek. This was when I started bawling. The unconditional love that these three people had for this one person that they've never met, and have only chatted with online, is so powerful. This episode sent such a great message to my heart. It made me realize that i also have friends who love me unconditionally.
I don't really know why but I noticed that I've been writing a lot about unconditional love. I guess it's something that has been on my mind a lot lately. It's also funny that I decided to go to mass again today at 6:30pm. Father Ben's homily was about unconditional love too. It's everywhere! He talked about the movie Kiterunner. I wanna see it now. =]
If anyone wants to join me, let me know and I'll get the movie. Yay movie with friends! How awesome would that be? Not as awesome as God but it's pretty darn awesome.
Okay, I think my eyes are getting a lil tired so that may be a call for me to go to bed.
So good night world! and don't forget to pray!
Dr. Sloan, the surgeon who was going to operate on him, told him that he cannot have the surgery on his own. He needs his friends there for support and something else i can't remember. He said that he didn't want them to see the horror on his face. He didn't want to scare them away because they were his only friends. But, after the talk he was willing to see his friends again.
His friends came back. They came in to see him before his surgery and saw his face. The old woman went up to him, held his hand and kissed his cheek. This was when I started bawling. The unconditional love that these three people had for this one person that they've never met, and have only chatted with online, is so powerful. This episode sent such a great message to my heart. It made me realize that i also have friends who love me unconditionally.
I don't really know why but I noticed that I've been writing a lot about unconditional love. I guess it's something that has been on my mind a lot lately. It's also funny that I decided to go to mass again today at 6:30pm. Father Ben's homily was about unconditional love too. It's everywhere! He talked about the movie Kiterunner. I wanna see it now. =]
If anyone wants to join me, let me know and I'll get the movie. Yay movie with friends! How awesome would that be? Not as awesome as God but it's pretty darn awesome.
Okay, I think my eyes are getting a lil tired so that may be a call for me to go to bed.
So good night world! and don't forget to pray!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
1:30 AM...
It's 1:30am. I've watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy and an episode of Ugly Betty.I still can't sleep. My baby cousin just had another surgery. He's about 2 months old and he's already gone through two surgeries. Right now, he's breathing through a tube. I just can't imagine what my aunt and uncle are feeling right now. I keep thinking...my brokenness is nothing compared to what they're going through. I fear of someone walking out of my life while my aunt and uncle are fearing for the life of their child. How selfish could I be to victimize myself when my family is going through something far worse.
This extreme disappointment I have in myself has begun to unleash. I haven't been around physically and psychologically lately. My mind has been preoccupied with thoughts that I wish to terminate. I think I'm beginning to feel exactly what it's like to really let go.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. No one can take away my ability to love unconditionally, even if I'm broken.
You weren't there tonight but I had great laughs and I still love. So, I'm living out my motto and that matters a whole lot to me right now.
Broken And Beautiful - Mark Schultz
This extreme disappointment I have in myself has begun to unleash. I haven't been around physically and psychologically lately. My mind has been preoccupied with thoughts that I wish to terminate. I think I'm beginning to feel exactly what it's like to really let go.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. No one can take away my ability to love unconditionally, even if I'm broken.
You weren't there tonight but I had great laughs and I still love. So, I'm living out my motto and that matters a whole lot to me right now.
Broken And Beautiful - Mark Schultz
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Heaven
This is what I call heaven after a long week of finals. I still have one last final tomorrow but I'm not very focused on that right now because....
That, my friends, is called a Tin Roof Sundae. mmYummm.
It's so wonderful to be savoring a nice piece of heaven before I have to get back to the books.
Beatles and the 60's, here I come!
That, my friends, is called a Tin Roof Sundae. mmYummm.
It's so wonderful to be savoring a nice piece of heaven before I have to get back to the books.
Beatles and the 60's, here I come!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sometimes...
You need to just take what you can get.
There's one thing I know no one can take from me. That's the ability to love unconditionally. I may be weak and imperfect but the love I have for You is strong and it's the most perfect love I could ever have. For you, it's close but will never be perfect. That doesn't take away the fact that it will never end.
There's one thing I know no one can take from me. That's the ability to love unconditionally. I may be weak and imperfect but the love I have for You is strong and it's the most perfect love I could ever have. For you, it's close but will never be perfect. That doesn't take away the fact that it will never end.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Ugly Betty or Grey's Anatomy
Both.
Here's my favorite part of Ugly Betty Episode 17. Matt ( I think that's his name), who's been deceiving Betty and making her think that he's poor and who Betty is seeing, writes her a check for $10,000 dollars because Betty was evicted and she wanted to come up with 10,000 to keep her home. Betty gets mad at him for writing her a check and not telling her that it was from him and making her feel like she's his charity. At the end, Betty meets up with Matt and told him she wasn't angry at him anymore and this is what he said.
"I'm really glad that you're not mad at me anymore because I'm kinda really into you."
That...was my favorite part of this episode.
For Grey's anatomy, the recent episode was one with yet another good insightful message. Yang and the Military doctor dude, I forgot his name, but yea...he knocked her into a rack of medical stuff when she woke him up. He had a bad dream. After that, he kept not letting her get in on his surgeries. She keeps persisting and at the end, she said, "It's gonna take more than a bad dream to scare me off."
Another part is at the end when Grey goes to Shepherd's place to talk to him and he keeps telling her to leave, but she said, " I'm not leaving."
Why do people persist like that? Oh, because of love. I get it. pff.
So yea, those are some of the highlights I wanted to mention before I went to bed.
OH btw, if you're brave enough to leave really long comments that are sort of provoking, you should be brave enough to disclose who you are.
I'm just saying.
Thanks and good night.
Here's my favorite part of Ugly Betty Episode 17. Matt ( I think that's his name), who's been deceiving Betty and making her think that he's poor and who Betty is seeing, writes her a check for $10,000 dollars because Betty was evicted and she wanted to come up with 10,000 to keep her home. Betty gets mad at him for writing her a check and not telling her that it was from him and making her feel like she's his charity. At the end, Betty meets up with Matt and told him she wasn't angry at him anymore and this is what he said.
"I'm really glad that you're not mad at me anymore because I'm kinda really into you."
That...was my favorite part of this episode.
For Grey's anatomy, the recent episode was one with yet another good insightful message. Yang and the Military doctor dude, I forgot his name, but yea...he knocked her into a rack of medical stuff when she woke him up. He had a bad dream. After that, he kept not letting her get in on his surgeries. She keeps persisting and at the end, she said, "It's gonna take more than a bad dream to scare me off."
Another part is at the end when Grey goes to Shepherd's place to talk to him and he keeps telling her to leave, but she said, " I'm not leaving."
Why do people persist like that? Oh, because of love. I get it. pff.
So yea, those are some of the highlights I wanted to mention before I went to bed.
OH btw, if you're brave enough to leave really long comments that are sort of provoking, you should be brave enough to disclose who you are.
I'm just saying.
Thanks and good night.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Withdrawals
You're withdrawn and I'm going through withdrawals. How funny is that? I had a really bad dream and I think my dream was my conscience telling me what I didn't want to hear. It was saying " you know it's not gonna work. You may wish for it to work, but you know it ain't ever gonna happen....that's why nobody ran after you in the dream stupid." How DO you mend a broken heart anyway? That's part of a song if you don't get my reference. Why do you keep wanting when clearly the person is not giving you what you need? These are questions I constantly ask myself, hoping by the time, I find the answers, I will have moved on.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Okay...
Am I doing something wrong here?! Am I not trying hard enough or something? What do you want from me?!
Song of the Day
This is my anthem for Lent:
Give Me Your Eyes
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?
Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah
yeah
yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?
Chorus
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah
yeah
yeah
I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along
Chorus (x2)
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah
yeah
yeah
Monday, March 9, 2009
Taken For Granted
Have you ever felt like all the effort you've put into something for years and years have all been taken for granted? You're so focused on feeling appreciated by one specific person that you don't notice those who do appreciate you. I'm sorry.
You know what I think is funny? The fact that even though you try to stay away, that undefined force keeps pulling you back. Oh wait...maybe the force is defined...
You know what I think is funny? The fact that even though you try to stay away, that undefined force keeps pulling you back. Oh wait...maybe the force is defined...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Signs
Heavy breathing...
Hands trembling...
Feeling nauseous...
Urge to vomit...
What could these symptoms be a sign of?
Hands trembling...
Feeling nauseous...
Urge to vomit...
What could these symptoms be a sign of?
The Power of Forgiveness
Today's homily was pretty insightful. Father John Francis gave two different ones for 10 am and noon mass. For 10 am mass, he talked about being able to hear God's voice when things are going good in our lives but when things are going bad, we tend to be so absorbed in what we're dealing with that we don't stop to listen. I guess that's true. It's hard to just stop and try to listen to what God wants to tell us when we're always complaining about the things that are going on in our lives. I've made it an effort every night to do ACTS. ACTS is a set of prayers you can do every time you want to pray. A stands for Adoration. That's when you praise and adore God. C stands for Contrition. That's when you say sorry for your sins. T is Thanks giving. That's a chance for you to thank God for everything, good or bad. S is Supplication. Supplication is when you offer up your intentions.
ACTS gives you a chance to be appreciative of everything around, even if it's not something good. It's a chance for you to listen to God and to ask Him what He wants for your life. Sometimes when we're angry or frustrated about something, we complain. It's natural. I do it all the time. Even though it's hard sometimes to just let your guard down, humble yourself to really understand the people around you, it feels so good when you can just be vulnerable and let God walk with you through it.
I'm short tempered at times and stubborn, but this Lenten season has been teaching me a lot. It really isn't about giving up anything. For me personally, it's about mending broken friendships, helping those in need, praying for those I can't actively help, forgiving and being patient. I really need to work on being patient and not letting my anger get the best of me. eek.
Forgiving can be hard sometimes too. Especially when you've been hurt by someone so much. I guess, love makes you do silly things...including forgiving people who hurt you. ;] I'm just kidding. That's not silly. Crazy...maybe.
Okay, I should get back to studying. Let's add that to the list. =]
Peace!
ACTS gives you a chance to be appreciative of everything around, even if it's not something good. It's a chance for you to listen to God and to ask Him what He wants for your life. Sometimes when we're angry or frustrated about something, we complain. It's natural. I do it all the time. Even though it's hard sometimes to just let your guard down, humble yourself to really understand the people around you, it feels so good when you can just be vulnerable and let God walk with you through it.
I'm short tempered at times and stubborn, but this Lenten season has been teaching me a lot. It really isn't about giving up anything. For me personally, it's about mending broken friendships, helping those in need, praying for those I can't actively help, forgiving and being patient. I really need to work on being patient and not letting my anger get the best of me. eek.
Forgiving can be hard sometimes too. Especially when you've been hurt by someone so much. I guess, love makes you do silly things...including forgiving people who hurt you. ;] I'm just kidding. That's not silly. Crazy...maybe.
Okay, I should get back to studying. Let's add that to the list. =]
Peace!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Content
Today was a rather busy day. Despite the busy-ness, I'm pretty content. Even though I didn't get all of my goals accomplished, more specifically, my article read and at least half of the paper written, I'm still content because I spent my time working on a project that I'm having for the participants at my internship. I'm really excited about it and it's looking really good. I also got to support one of my participants at a doctor's visit. It was nice to feel that she appreciated it and that she felt cared for. I also had some time to talk to my intern buddy. She bought me coffee which was a really nice gesture.
I also got to hang out with a friend that I haven't gotten a chance to hang out with a lot. It was really nice to hang out, laugh, and eat with you. You're really fun to hang out with...and it hasn't changed. I think we did pretty well. We ate almost all the rolls on the menu! haha. Thanks for having dinner with me.
Anyway, I ran out of jeans! What to do?! I guess we'll see what I'll manage to put together for tomorrow huh? haha.
Okay, have a good night everyone.
gotta pray and SLEEEPPP!
Peace.
I also got to hang out with a friend that I haven't gotten a chance to hang out with a lot. It was really nice to hang out, laugh, and eat with you. You're really fun to hang out with...and it hasn't changed. I think we did pretty well. We ate almost all the rolls on the menu! haha. Thanks for having dinner with me.
Anyway, I ran out of jeans! What to do?! I guess we'll see what I'll manage to put together for tomorrow huh? haha.
Okay, have a good night everyone.
gotta pray and SLEEEPPP!
Peace.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Alright...it's me again.
So, I'm really into purple for some reason...like every shade of purple. I was trying to look for a nice purple background and I came up with this one that's currently on page. You might not be able to see it though and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because it needs time to update or what not. But anyway, instead of paying attention in my Beatles and the 60s class, I was looking at all my blogs. Man...I may as well get rid of them all because even i got annoyed at how much i complained. I'm sure I wrote something about how I complain a lot on my blogs. Then again, my blog is probably the only place I can complain without annoying people I guess. Because if you chose to read my blogs, then you already know what you're getting yourself into.
It's like my Human Sexuality class lecture last night. We watched a documentary called American Porn. I don't really care much about the adult industry. Despite the fact that people give up their own dignity and self respect when they choose to work in the adult industry, it's for people who search for it. I mean, if you don't like it, don't watch it. You always have a choice. Some people make bad choices...some people dwell on which choices to make (like me), and some surprisingly make very good ones. Some make decisions without thinking and somehow it works. I call them lucky people. You know...the ones who are just in the right place, at the right time.
Anyway, let's talk about compromising. Not everything will go your way. Even millionaires have problems. Face it, you will always run into conflict at one time or another. So what do you do? Do you run away just because you can't handle opinions that are different from your own? Why not give others another chance AND yourself another chance. Challenge yourself.
Sometimes it's good to go with your gut feeling but I don't think it's good all the time. Your gut feeling is far from your heart feeling...does that make sense? Your mind is also very different. So when do you use your mind, your heart, or your gut feeling to make decisions? I still don't know the answer to that question.
For example, I feel like eating something right now. my gut tells me I should get something to eat. My heart tells me I'm craving something, and my mind tells me I'm not hungry.
I don't know if that's a good example but it's a real one.
Anyway, here's a random message. You can withdraw, run away, or keep yourself so busy that you shut yourself off from the world and most important, the people who love you, but I hope you don't forget that those people who love you aren't going anywhere even though you chose to walk away. You can communicate in many different ways. Aren't you glad the cellphone is not the only means of communication anymore? I am. You know what's even better? Transportation is not limited. You may not have a car, but there are other ways you can get to places. I guess my point is...IT'S YOUR CHOICE.
P.S
You commended me for always putting myself out there to risk heart breaks after heart breaks...You should try it. Fear only holds you back from experiencing what could be the best times of your life.
It's like my Human Sexuality class lecture last night. We watched a documentary called American Porn. I don't really care much about the adult industry. Despite the fact that people give up their own dignity and self respect when they choose to work in the adult industry, it's for people who search for it. I mean, if you don't like it, don't watch it. You always have a choice. Some people make bad choices...some people dwell on which choices to make (like me), and some surprisingly make very good ones. Some make decisions without thinking and somehow it works. I call them lucky people. You know...the ones who are just in the right place, at the right time.
Anyway, let's talk about compromising. Not everything will go your way. Even millionaires have problems. Face it, you will always run into conflict at one time or another. So what do you do? Do you run away just because you can't handle opinions that are different from your own? Why not give others another chance AND yourself another chance. Challenge yourself.
Sometimes it's good to go with your gut feeling but I don't think it's good all the time. Your gut feeling is far from your heart feeling...does that make sense? Your mind is also very different. So when do you use your mind, your heart, or your gut feeling to make decisions? I still don't know the answer to that question.
For example, I feel like eating something right now. my gut tells me I should get something to eat. My heart tells me I'm craving something, and my mind tells me I'm not hungry.
I don't know if that's a good example but it's a real one.
Anyway, here's a random message. You can withdraw, run away, or keep yourself so busy that you shut yourself off from the world and most important, the people who love you, but I hope you don't forget that those people who love you aren't going anywhere even though you chose to walk away. You can communicate in many different ways. Aren't you glad the cellphone is not the only means of communication anymore? I am. You know what's even better? Transportation is not limited. You may not have a car, but there are other ways you can get to places. I guess my point is...IT'S YOUR CHOICE.
P.S
You commended me for always putting myself out there to risk heart breaks after heart breaks...You should try it. Fear only holds you back from experiencing what could be the best times of your life.
Have you ever felt like there's just way too much you have on your mind that you just can't write anything down because you're so overwhelmed? That's me right now.
God's totally playing mind games with me right now. But that's okay. Somewhere in this broken heart of mine, I believe that he has a plan for me and I will be waiting.
Although, I must say. Please don't be too selfish. God selflessly endured so much pain for us. I may have a broken heart...but it's still a heart.
God's totally playing mind games with me right now. But that's okay. Somewhere in this broken heart of mine, I believe that he has a plan for me and I will be waiting.
Although, I must say. Please don't be too selfish. God selflessly endured so much pain for us. I may have a broken heart...but it's still a heart.
Monday, March 2, 2009
So, I'm not paying attention in class right now. The reason why I'm writing a blog is because I really want to check facebook and I'm trying to distract myself so I don't check it and break my consistency. I am also super tired and sleepy. I would love to go home and just go to bed. That would be perfect. uhhhhh....
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