my best

All I can really live with is knowing that I did my best. I've learned that just because your relationship seems to be going really well doesn't mean that nothing will happen. Indeed if your heart is not fully devoted to the relationship, then it's just better not to push it any further. I need to be honest with myself now and really assess my needs. My wants are making me do things that only end up with hurt and pain. I also need to realize that not everyone needs me to take care of them and so I won't, not by choice but by request. I still love and I will continue to love to the fullest of my ability. This neverending test is never going to make me love less. Although I need to find the heart to understand why I'm being tested so harshly, I have a good example of a strong woman to keep me going; my Mom. I'm ready to believe that this is something God has planned especially for me and that I will experience all the goodness that he will bless my way soon. My life is in Your hands. There's an end to everything. I remember watching this movie and a daughter asked her mother, " mom, have you ever had to let someone go?" Her mom replied, " of course I have and if it wasn't for that I never wouldve met your father." So I'll keep that in mind and feed off my own mother's strength. I'll be okay.