2 AM Lament

Have you ever befriended a threat before? By this I mean, someone who is a threat to you in some way. I have. It's the most exhilarating feeling ever! I don't even know why I saw this person as a threat before. I don't perceive this person as a threat anymore but at the time, I really was feeling like this person could take away what I loved the most...other than God and my family of course. That person could possibly feel the same way about me...a threat I mean...or not. Either way, it doesn't matter anymore.

Now I've realized that what I loved has already been taken away from me, not by any one person...not by any other person but the person I loved.

Am I making sense? Some call me crazy.

I wish I didn't hear those words...or read it rather.

Just like that song.."Just gonna stand there and watch me burn...it's alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear my cry...that's alright because I love the way you lie...I love the way you lie."

Yes. I love the way you lie even though it hurts my inside.

I wish you could be a part of this ceremony. My mom asked but I don't know. When you've been rejected once...you just don't wanna go through it again. Instead, we're having someone who's not even close to family do this. ugh.

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Hah. That was my lament for the night. Now, let's talk about something more exciting. I'm going somewhere in two weeks and I cannot wait! For the sake of being discrete about it, I cannot divulge too much information until later. Even though I'm sure not many people read my blogs anyway, I still have to be careful. Lo siento!

I feel like God is taking care of me in this aspect. Bringing people into my life to help me be strong...or stronger. People who will stay up til the wee hours of the morning just to laugh with me. (Trambalaya!)

People who will take me out even though they're super tired. (Ong gia Ewic)

People who will just come over to be in my presence. (My besties)

Oh so thankful!