I am feeling so torn right now. I guess it's a big problem when you want to be a part of everything. I feel like it's a relationship and I'm not completely faithful to both. I'm not talking about boys either. That is the LAST thing on my mind. Sigh. This makes me feel so uneasy.

I don't wanna make it seem like I'm abandoning either...that hurt when I heard that.

Sleep would be nice right about now.

Big Fat Warning Sign

Have you ever done something that you have a feeling would not turn out very well but you did it anyway just because you really didn't give a flying cow?

Just a question.

I wish I could tell how fast time is running. Like...I wanna take me out of myself, and just watch and see how fast things are going. I mean, when you have "live like there's no tomorrow" in your head and that's how you want to live your life, things just come...and they come fast.

Haha..I find it sorta funny that I really wanna blog about something but when I actually hit New Post....I can't seem to write it down or I just go blank. This is exactly why I'm writing this right now because I don't know how to write about what I really wanna write about.

Strange.

I won't try this time.

Good nite

Movin'

Moving...too fast? too slow? not moving. Those are the thoughts in my head right now. I guess you can say my mind is in it, but my heart's not quite there. So what do I do? I guess we'll have to let time decide where I'm gonna be. sigh. School starts tomorrow and it's going to be the beginning of a brand new journey. I'm pretty scared because so far, I've already started this year off with something...something that I have yet to determine the outcome of. I don't know if that sentence made any sense at all. I guess this is how life is. You never know when something will come at you and it takes you a while to realize what it is and then comes the interesting part...one that can either cause heartaches, pain, sadness...or it could cause feelings of joy, happiness, awe.

All I know is, this year will be a new year and regardless of the obstacles I know I'm going to face, I can't let it stop me from living it up. It's time to clean out my closet and make room for new things to come in.

For now, have a good night. Brand new day tomorrow!

There are some things I just don't understand. Sometimes when I think about everything that has happened, that's happening, and will happen, I just get a mixture of frustration, contentment, satisfaction, anger, sadness...you name it, I probably felt it. Is it really anyone's fault that you just feel the way you do? I feel a lil bit angry right now when I think about certain things. I feel like it is all my fault that some things aren't right. But is it really my fault? I dunno. Maybe.

I really just wanna scream right now...wait, I'm a lil thirsty. sigh. It's been a long day...but good day. Lots of walking, sightseeing, talking, picture taking, laughing, smiling...sharings that were happy....and some that were sad...angry...Lots of surprises.

I'm just trying to absorb it all right now and as physically strained as I am, I still need to just sit and take it all in. I don't really know what is ahead of me but all I know is that I may be alive today, but gone tomorrow. If I don't take advantage of the chances that are given to me today it may not be there by tomorrow, or I may not be there.

I went to Old Town San Diego today and the first place I went to was the church. I sat in the second pew and meditated for a while. I was really trying to talk to Him. I'm not sure how long I stayed in there for, but the time that I sat in the pew meditating felt like a long while. I really wanted to talk to Him. Then I went over to the Blessed Sacrament. I stood there and looked up at Mother Mary. For some reason, when I started praying, I was on the verge of tears. It wasn't something I felt in a long while and in a way, it felt very rejuvenating.

Wow, my mind must be working overtime cuz I'm starting to feel my energy level drop a whole octave. (haha..lame musical joke)

Alright, even though I don't know what's in store for tomorrow, I can only say that I will approach it with hope, honesty, understanding, and love. That couldn't have sounded any cornier...so, I'll leave it at that.

Good night.

Thank you for the bracelet. It was a pleasant surprise. =]