Some people underestimate how insightful tv shows can be. Many think it's a waste of time to sit and watch tv shows but you can actually learn a lot. Yes, some shows are just garbage and a waste of time, but some carry messages that many can relate to, only if they watched it.
I was watching a show called Greek this afternoon. It's about fraternities and sororities and college life (I know, it sounds like garbage), but it's really not bad. In this episode, the seniors were preparing to graduate and move on. Casey, one of the sorority girls got accepted into Washington law school. She was afraid to leave her college life and boyfriend, to venture into something more challenging. She told her best friend, "maybe I'm not as strong as you think I am." Her best friend, then, said, "maybe you just took a break from yourself." It was then that I thought, maybe I took a break from myself. Where have I been? It dawned on me that I have not been the best version of me. I guess one thing remained the same though, I was always persistent. I guess now it's about changing direction. I think I was just afraid of making this transition before. There's no holding me back now. I owe this to myself.
This Holy Week, I am determined to carry my crosses no matter how heavy they are. It's no coincidence that I've faced so many struggles and humility during this Lenten season. All I know is, Jesus sacrificed his life on the Cross...the least I can do for Him is to trust; to lay down my pride; to find humility; to love unconditionally; to be thankful...
I'm letting go of the rest.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Ironman
After watching Ironman on tv at my aunt's salon, I felt so inspired. There was a nun who was racing and she's 76 years old! She made it through the swim, the biking, and the 26 mile run. I think I'm going to start slow and build up to that. I'll start with the half mile marathon this October, and work my way up. I can't imagine how awesome it must feel to be able to do all that. At one point I even got teary-eyed because of some of the stories behind some of the champions.
I need to apologize to myself first and foremost. I haven't been taken very good care of myself. It's time to pick up the slack and revive this relationship. I was too busy trying to do other foolish things that I had completely neglected this second most important relationship- my relationship with myself. My most important relationship is with the Big Guy in the sky. That's been going steady, but now I need to work on me.
I might sound a bit too egoistic, but I think everyone should be to a certain extent. We should all take care of ourselves first and think of our needs before we can meet anyone else's. Which is why it's all about me at this moment. All about me, my family, my awesome community, and last but not least my God.
I want to start running every morning before work, and train with the crew at night. It's going to be pretty crazy but me running 26 miles is crazy, but possible!
I'd like to go to daily Mass for this coming Holy week or at least Adoration. Hopefully I'll be able to. Anyway, gotta catch some Zz now so I can have energy for tomorrow.
Good night everyone. =]
I need to apologize to myself first and foremost. I haven't been taken very good care of myself. It's time to pick up the slack and revive this relationship. I was too busy trying to do other foolish things that I had completely neglected this second most important relationship- my relationship with myself. My most important relationship is with the Big Guy in the sky. That's been going steady, but now I need to work on me.
I might sound a bit too egoistic, but I think everyone should be to a certain extent. We should all take care of ourselves first and think of our needs before we can meet anyone else's. Which is why it's all about me at this moment. All about me, my family, my awesome community, and last but not least my God.
I want to start running every morning before work, and train with the crew at night. It's going to be pretty crazy but me running 26 miles is crazy, but possible!
I'd like to go to daily Mass for this coming Holy week or at least Adoration. Hopefully I'll be able to. Anyway, gotta catch some Zz now so I can have energy for tomorrow.
Good night everyone. =]
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Such an Epiphany
I'm not a floor mat! If that's not clear enough, then I don't know what is.
I've got two words...
peace out.
And to everyone else, have a good night.
P.S
Thanks to some really good friends of mine who have been so supportive. There was a lot of tough love, but I really appreciate all of that.
I've got two words...
peace out.
And to everyone else, have a good night.
P.S
Thanks to some really good friends of mine who have been so supportive. There was a lot of tough love, but I really appreciate all of that.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
I wish I had woken up to a bad dream this morning, but sadly, it was reality. Even though it was tough to hear, I think I've come to terms with this. I have exhausted every possibility and done everything I could, but I guess it's tougher to gain someone's trust than I thought, especially when you thought you had their trust. Then again, who's to say I can trust that easily?
Nothing is worse than fear. At work, we started this system where we give students fake money as an incentive. So what I did was create citations. I give out money when students are behaving exceptionally or when they've answered a question correctly, etc. but I also give citations to those who misbehave. I give them the amount they have to pay and a due date. They can choose to do community service (picking up trash in the classroom before leaving, making sure the snack area is cleaned, etc) or redeem themselves to get more money to pay off their citation before the due date. This is such an awesome way to teach them responsibility on top of good behavior. The point I want to get at is that fear can really affect people. When I say "if you don't stop talking, I'm going to give you a citation," they all stop talking. The fear of losing money made them stop talking.
There are other fears like fear of spiders, fear of needles, fear of height. Personally, I hate needles. I used to pass out at the sight of blood or when I'm having blood drawn. It's just the thought of my own blood flowing out of my body, through a tiny tube, and into a vile. Now, I don't pass out anymore because I've learned to control my fear. I've learned to condition my mind so that I'm able to go through a procedure without passing out. As much as I fear having blood drawn, I have to do it because that's the only way I can keep my health in check.
Another fear some people may have is of roller coasters. They fear that once they get on the roller coaster there's no going back; that they might not be able to handle the twists and turns or they might be afraid of falling out of the roller coaster. People who love roller coasters will tell you that it's super fun and such an adrenaline rush. But some people have never been on a roller coaster to experience that thrill and excitement because of their fear.
So when do you face your fear(s) and just go for it?
I've faced one of my fears for a very long time and had so much trust that I would conquer it...but I failed miserably almost every time... I guess I had too much trust. Maybe it wasn't the right fear I should've been trying to face. I think I'm ready to face this new fear now. I'm sorry I'm being so vague. I might have a lot of typos too because I didn't sleep til 5 in the morning and I woke up at 10 to go for a run. It was actually a really good run. I sprinted a couple of times and THAT felt awesome! But anyway, my thighs are sore and I'm super tired.
It's 12 am, March 26, 2010. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Now I can sleep. Good night!
Nothing is worse than fear. At work, we started this system where we give students fake money as an incentive. So what I did was create citations. I give out money when students are behaving exceptionally or when they've answered a question correctly, etc. but I also give citations to those who misbehave. I give them the amount they have to pay and a due date. They can choose to do community service (picking up trash in the classroom before leaving, making sure the snack area is cleaned, etc) or redeem themselves to get more money to pay off their citation before the due date. This is such an awesome way to teach them responsibility on top of good behavior. The point I want to get at is that fear can really affect people. When I say "if you don't stop talking, I'm going to give you a citation," they all stop talking. The fear of losing money made them stop talking.
There are other fears like fear of spiders, fear of needles, fear of height. Personally, I hate needles. I used to pass out at the sight of blood or when I'm having blood drawn. It's just the thought of my own blood flowing out of my body, through a tiny tube, and into a vile. Now, I don't pass out anymore because I've learned to control my fear. I've learned to condition my mind so that I'm able to go through a procedure without passing out. As much as I fear having blood drawn, I have to do it because that's the only way I can keep my health in check.
Another fear some people may have is of roller coasters. They fear that once they get on the roller coaster there's no going back; that they might not be able to handle the twists and turns or they might be afraid of falling out of the roller coaster. People who love roller coasters will tell you that it's super fun and such an adrenaline rush. But some people have never been on a roller coaster to experience that thrill and excitement because of their fear.
So when do you face your fear(s) and just go for it?
I've faced one of my fears for a very long time and had so much trust that I would conquer it...but I failed miserably almost every time... I guess I had too much trust. Maybe it wasn't the right fear I should've been trying to face. I think I'm ready to face this new fear now. I'm sorry I'm being so vague. I might have a lot of typos too because I didn't sleep til 5 in the morning and I woke up at 10 to go for a run. It was actually a really good run. I sprinted a couple of times and THAT felt awesome! But anyway, my thighs are sore and I'm super tired.
It's 12 am, March 26, 2010. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Now I can sleep. Good night!
The Last of my Efforts
I think I did everything I could. It's been such a long 3 days. I have literally been on my feet from morning to night everyday. From preparing to baking to cooking. I'm surprised I got it all done. The most important thing is that it was a success. More people came than we thought and the birthday boy was happy.
I wish I was better at not having expectations. It just happens so subconsciously though. I can't help it.
It sucks when you want to help but you end up messing up more than helping. My mom came home today and she looked kind of upset. I didn't know what was wrong and I was so busy getting the food cooked that I didn't ask. She finally told me that I inserted the chips to the mother boards wrong. So my mom helps my aunt with her job. She puts together parts for machines like DVD players, gaming machines, etc. I felt so bad. I just didn't want my mom to have to hurt her back inserting every little chip. Even my back hurts after I finish them. So I'm a little bummed because of that.
Anyway, maybe what I need to do is just step back.
I wish I was better at not having expectations. It just happens so subconsciously though. I can't help it.
It sucks when you want to help but you end up messing up more than helping. My mom came home today and she looked kind of upset. I didn't know what was wrong and I was so busy getting the food cooked that I didn't ask. She finally told me that I inserted the chips to the mother boards wrong. So my mom helps my aunt with her job. She puts together parts for machines like DVD players, gaming machines, etc. I felt so bad. I just didn't want my mom to have to hurt her back inserting every little chip. Even my back hurts after I finish them. So I'm a little bummed because of that.
Anyway, maybe what I need to do is just step back.
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