Every little bit hurts...

First, I lost someone who had contributed to my existence and so much to the person that I am now.

Then, someone I love tells me he's not emotionally ready...this encompasses a lot that I don't feel the need to discuss.

Now, I just finished reading something that hurts so much. It's written by someone I really care about. The pain that was trapped in that piece of writing cuts deeper than the wound I have right now.

Why do we shed tears when we're sad or hurt? Tears don't help in any way.

There's something that He is doing. I'm not sure what it is, but I really don't like it. Sometimes, especially during times like these, it's so hard to trust.

Seeing my mother cry...every tear that runs down her cheeks is like a stab to my heart. Every frown on my grandma's face is like a prick of a needle, every look I take at my dad's picture is like a breath of air taken away.

I just don't understand!

I wanna run away...just run without a destination. My heart's crying out to You. I wish I could feel more of Your love for me. I don't feel loved by You right now.

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I can't find any better way to say I'm sorry but to let you know that you've been everything and more to me. I'm sorry that I continue to hurt you. I don't know how I could make it better. I can't. I'm weak. I understand if you don't wanna talk to me or hang out.