I just changed the look of my blog and I think this one that I chose is catered towards people with bad eyesight, because the font size is huge! lol I guess it's a good thing even for people with perfect eyesight. They can keep it perfect by not straining so much trying to read the smaller font sizes.
Anyway, there's so much I want to write. I'm starting my Master's program soon in August and I'm traveling a bit this Summer. I'm pretty bummed out that I'm going to have to leave my job but there's give and take and I just need to accept it and move forward. I have tomorrow to apply for this job at Fullerton and because I feel like God had something to do with this job post in my email, I'm going to make an effort to fill it out and edit my resume.
So, on to what I'm really thinking about at the moment. If there's anyone that could understand what a heart break feels like, I am one. But somehow, that doesn't stop me from breaking hearts. It's so hard to tell someone that you don't feel the same way. I cringe every time I have to do that because I know how the other person must feel. I keep getting all these challenges and I'm expected to pass them. Sometimes I wonder why I keep running into the same situation. Tonight, I was able to be completely honest. Although it wasn't something that person wanted to hear, he was appreciative of my honesty. At the same time, I felt so bad. I had already disappointed other people in the past, and now God brings another person into my life for me to disappoint, just so that I could learn and grow. It hardly seems fair to the other person. Then again, the other person can grow from it too...but why do we have to go through all these uncomfortable situations?
God, You are strange.
My deepest desire right now is to find peace through prayer and to continue to walk with Him even though this road sometimes becomes narrow and rocky...and sometimes I step on land mines that completely tear me apart.
I really believe that this master's program is going to shape me into the person I'd like to be and God would like me to be. I do want to make the best out of this Summer. I was already thinking about what I wanted to do on my birthday. lol All I want is to hang out at the beach. Have a nice bonfire where my friends and I can sit around with a guitar and just sing random songs. I do want to try boogie boarding. Considering the fact that I'm not a swimmer, it's a pretty brave thought. haha I just need to remind myself that I control the water...not the other way around. Right?
Anyway, it's the last week of school for the kids. Then there's Summer program which I'm so excited about. My coworkers and I had dinner tonight and we were talking about the haps of Summer program. I'm so happy and blessed to have such awesome coworkers and boss. I've already made up my mind. Even though I won't be able to come back next year to work, I'll be a volunteer. That way, I can still be around my kids and hang out with the COs.
Cheers to the wonders of God's plans!
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