Brutal Honesty

"You should step aside and let the good friends help," a friend of mine said while we were having lunch today. It's people like him that really test my humility. I always have to take a deep breath before I say anything else to prevent defensiveness. It's so tough to accept these things that your friends tell you because they hurt.

So I'm not considered a good friend...what am I? Just a girl...It's funny to be bringing this up, but this really reminds me of one of Shakespeare's famous lines: To be or not to be?

I guess I always have a choice, but wait...do I? Isn't it God's choice that's the best choice? and don't I want the best choice?

Sometimes I feel like what I have to deal with is not half as important as..."other things." It's like people laugh at me and say, Tracy, you're so funny. Just get over it....as if it wasn't as confusing, draining, frustrating as..."other things." This is where I try my best to stay humble. I guess sometimes I just want someone to empathize with me, rather than tell me what I already know even though I appreciate brutal honesty.

Today I met my "best" friend's roommates. One of them asked me, "So, you're the one that she always says 'hey best friend' to on the phone?" I wasn't sure how to respond to that because Thao never says that to me when we talk. Actually, we rarely talk, and when we text, it doesn't last for very long. How did my best friend turn to just...a friend? I couldn't help but feel sad about it.

Anyway, I was looking forward to rosary. It always makes me feel a bit better, so have a restful night everyone.