It was a long day today. I find myself more on the low end when I'm inactive. When I'm sitting at home, especially alone, there's so much darkness. I try to fight this darkness from getting to my heart by updating my calendar, checking email, watching a bit of tv, but I lost today.
Today was my first day of volunteer work. I met three very cool teens. These guys don't have a permanent home, and basically live in the streets. They were telling us volunteers how they were sleeping in the backyard of one of their friends' houses and the neighbors called the cops on them. One of them was telling us about her family. Just listening to her made me hurt so much for her. My heart was not in any condition to hear all of what these teens had to say. I couldn't imagine myself sleeping out in the cold, in some corner. One of the girls has a mom, but only comes by on Sundays to shower. Why is that? Why would any mom let her daughter just sleep in the streets? I truly need to prepare myself for more of this because it's only been my first day, and I'm already an emotional wreck.
I was planning on going to Adoration today. I really needed it, but when I got there, it was closed. It really took me by surprise because I thought it was 24-hrs on Thursdays too. I don't know what it is, but I really need prayers. I was being my emotional self in the car and left a status on facebook saying that the chapel was closed. I wrote earlier that I was going to Adoration if anyone wanted to come, so I thought I should update and let everyone know that it was closed just in case someone wanted to come. Well not too long after that I got a text. Someone had left a comment about my status saying "hahaha, God hates you." I know he didn't know that his joke came at the wrong time, and it was more inappropriate than any other time, but it still hurts a lot. I was really looking forward to Adoration and just being with God. I really needed it...I still do.
This is one of those days where I feel very low in Spirit. I can only try my best to put my faith and trust in God right now. I need Him to carry me at this point. How much I wish that I could hear Him say, " Do not be afraid, my child. I am here with you, and I will hold you until the end of time."
2 comments:
yooo!! let's hit up adoration! i love it! you near irvine? olqa has a secret code... but u probably know it too.. time with Jesus = yeaaah boi!
i know what you mean about jokes, sometimes i wonder if people say them sometimes for their own entertainment than ours... hang in there missy.. you are deep in my prayers!
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