I haven't "let it out" like I did today...in a very long time. I think it's just a combination of different things that have been either hurting, or bothering me. I wanted to go watch a movie or do something to distract myself but I ended up sitting in my car for a while just "letting it out." Then I SOSed my best friend. She drove down right away. This sounds like a big deal but it's really just me finally breaking after holding in so much of what I thought I could handle. I'm okay with admitting to defeat. It just means that I have a chance to come to Jesus. Loneliness is something that I'm learning to embrace. I feel like I've sort of lost touch with Him. I want to come back to the Heart of Worship.

when the music fades
all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing just to bring
something that's of worth
that will bless your heart

i'll bring you more than a song
for a song in itself
is not what you have required
you search much deeper within
through the way things appear
you're looking into my heart

chorus
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it
when it's all about you
it's all about you, Jesus

King of endless worth
no one could express
how much you deserve
though i'm weak and poor
all i have is yours
every single breath

I've been feeling like I don't know who I am lately...or who I want to be. Is it because I was surrounded by a group of people that I felt I had to impress, so I acted a certain way? Do I feel more comfortable hanging with this other group because I don't have to try to be who I'm not? Who am I...really?

Uh oh, I think I'm having an identity crisis.

Earlier I was acting like a child...assuming that my friends didn't care about me enough, but it was never about me. How hypocritical of me to assume people are abandoning and forgetting about me when I've been abandoning Him and his teachings? and forgetting to come to Him in prayer?

Oh man, what an epiphany!

I think it's time I "man" up and do what should've been done from the get-go. I've heard it said that letting go requires a lot of love. Well, I have a lot of love...just not enough courage. So, I pray for courage like the Serenity Prayer.

I need to be slapped back to spirituality!