Wow. I'm so blessed to say that I've traveled to Canada. I love traveling and learning about new places and to have this opportunity to both serve and have fun at the same time was phenomenal. What a great blessing! I went to Canada to help out with a retreat...the best retreat for me personally. I got to meet so many cool people and share my story with them. When I was there, I felt so taken care of. There's such a strong sense of community that I felt there. Right when I met the first two people (David, and Steve), I immediately felt at home with them. It only got better when I arrived that my hostess' house. Anna was amazingly hospitable. She had a room ready for me with towels and slippers. It really is possible that you can meet someone for only a few moments and have your life changed forever.
When I was in Canada, I felt so free of all my burdens and stresses. It wasn't that they all went away, but it was like I focused my energy on all the positive things so all the negative things just kind moved into a corner. I don't think anything could've upset or scared me to much when I was there. I missed my flight back to Cali. If that happened to me a year ago or even before this retreat, I would've freaked out like no other. This time, even though I felt a bit nervous, I was very accepting of the fact that there was a good chance that I would stay in Toronto for another night. Granted, I prayed my heart out for a spot on the standby flight, I would've have been that disappointed if I had to stay for other night.
This feeling carried on even once I came back to Cali. The next day I had an interview. On my way to my interview, my car broke down completely on the freeway. Again, I would've panicked here too, but I didn't. I called for help and help came. I have my car back now and it's in great shape.
My point in telling these stories is to not make myself seem like an invincible person who's never affected by anything negative. These events definitely affected me, but I guess I chose to react to them in a different way than before. It was like, God was whispering into my ears, "Be not afraid. I'm with you."
The recurring them at Caritas 18 for me was trusting in God's plans and that there's a reason for everything that happens. I know that there's a reason for why I received that text as I boarded the flight to Toronto (I didn't mention that but it's not necessary), and there's a reason why I decided to go to Montreal and stayed at a specific person's apartment, for why I missed my flight, and for why my car broke down on my way to my interview.
I think it's easier for me to live the present moment now. I continue to learn how to be patient and how to trust with all my heart the plans that God has for me.
The song that I co-wrote with Eddie (an amazing musician) is exactly how I feel about life right now.
I Choose- Original
Music and lyrics: Eddie and Tracy
I thought I knew love
and what it's all about
It's just one of those things that
you fall in and out of
But You've showed me a new way
You showed me your way
I'm so amazed by Your Love
that I can always say
Refrain:
I choose to live
I choose to Love
I choose to be all you've dreamed me to be
Bridge:
You've called me by name Lord,
I'll never be the same.
Your Love it comforts me,
I'll never be afraid.
Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, a world without end. Amen
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