Something's just not right. I feel so uneasy. For some reason, I feel like I've done something wrong and it's affecting everyone but I don't really know what I did. I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I'm sorry for, but I'm sorry. Today was a long day in a way. Not that that's a bad thing but this weekend has been filled with a lot of tasks that I got done. On Saturday, I woke up at 9 to go see my doctor. I waited for like 3 hours before I was able to go inside to see the doc. I was sooooo hungry and they wanted to take my blood but I told them that it wasn't a good idea cus I was super hungry and if they took my blood, I could like pass out or something. So..I'm coming back this Tuesday morning to get a blood test. I'm not really fond of needles...well I guess not the needle itself cus it doesn't really hurt, but the thought of blood coming out and stuff makes me sick. But, gotta do what I gotta do. " I can do all things with Him who strengthens me" right? right. So anyway, after that I went home to get something to eat. Then I had to go get a livescan/finger printing for my internship. On the way, I took out the list of places I could go, and all of them said appts only. Darn. Sooo...I went home and my mom told me to go get my eyes checked. So I went to the optometrist. The good news is, my eyes are okay and "healthy." The bad news is now I have to figure out why my head hurts so much all the time...my theory was that it was because I didn't wear my glasses often enough so my eyes had to refocus all the time. But, I guess not. I dunno. Anyway, my brother's birthday was yesterday too. So, I had a couple of shots and beers to celebrate with him. I think my tolerance has skyrocketed after v2o.

Today, I was at Interfaith the majority of the time. When I wasn't there, I was at Paul's talking about issues concerning stuff. vague I know. But yea..anyway, I got to sing a meditation today. It was...rejuvenating...well while I was singing it to say the least. Nez took the harmony and guitar, and Mel on the piano. It was really good. The funny thing is, I was taking a short nap before mass and I woke up all of a sudden, and sorta just ran to Interfaith. If it was any other day, I would've backed out, but for some reason, even though my voice was groggy, and I couldn't hear in my right ear, I wanted to sing it. I guess you say can it was Him and not me.

Afterwards, I was planning to just go home and study, but decided to stop at Our Lady. Once, again, it was Him. It was nice to be on my knees right there in front of Him and just talk.

I just wish there was a clear direction but there just seems to be a constant struggle to figure out where to go.

This is random, but you can never know what someone's really thinking or feeling inside when you see them cry, but it's amazing how you can at least catch a glimpse of it. When you see others' at the most vulnerable state, how does it make you feel? It makes me want to be more humble. It makes me realize that because they're humble enough to show their vulnerability and weaknesses, that I can do that too.

I dunno, I just have a lot of thoughts running through my mind and not all of them are coherent.

I also feel really sick cus I ate something that probably had a lot of MSG in it. I can't stand a lot of MSG because I start to feel sick to my stomach...my mom has the same reaction to MSG, so I think I got it from her. I got a lot of things from my mom.

k, I'm gonna lay down cus I really don't feel good.

Good night. =]