Studying....but not really

I'm trying to study but today I saw a picture and it made me feel uneasy inside. I don't feel a great need to specify what I saw but what I saw brought me through 4 previous years. A bit of sadness and confusion still linger within me and I'm not sure when it'll ever go away. I'm listening to this song from Michael Buble called Everything. Somehow this song makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because of the thoughts that come to mind when listening to this song, and sad because they're all just thoughts. AH hah! Chayanne...funny how all these songs are playing one after the other. I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason and if you look deep enough, you'll figure out what the reason is.

Yesterday I had dinner with Audrey and while sharing with her things that are going on with me, I was able to evaluate them as well. I realize that I'm trying too hard to keep on walking down this road, accepting that I cannot be walking down two different roads at one time. I can only be at one place at a time. If only time stood still, but it doesn't. If I choose to walk down one road, I can only keep on going to get to where I want to go. On this long narrow road, I might come across nice shady trees to rest under and feel comfort after a long day's walk, but I might come across bumps and obstacles that will make me want to just turn back. What do I do? All I can do is keep on moving and hope that in the end, wherever I end up, I'll be happy with. I will always wonder what the other road looks like and where it leads to, but who knows? Maybe there are two different roads leading up to the same destination. You might ask why I didn't choose the other road to begin with....well, my only explanation for that is....the road is way too narrow and someone is already walking down that road. If I were to walk down the same road, I would either be behind or in front. I don't want that. I'd rather be walking beside. By taking the other road, I can only hope that we're both walking together, just down different roads and maybe...just maybe we'll end up in the same place. If not, I can only hope that my destination is as great as the other destination.

Struggles only make you stronger if you challenge them.

That's all for now.

Happy studying! =]