Answered Prayer Nonetheless

I read something today that gave me an awful initial reaction. Then as I read on, it made me feel, sort of glad. God is watching over this person and this person seems to be truly happy. I guess when I thought about it, my anger, if you can even call it that, subsided, and I felt genuinely happy for this person. It's been hard and I didn't think I could feel that even though I always tried to convince myself. But, today...today was the first time I actually felt it genuinely. It's pretty amazing.

Anyway, I hung out with a friend and had dinner with another friend today before going to a Going Away party for another friend. Yea, my schedule was pretty darn packed. But anyway, my friend said to me, "Tracy, you need to learn to be selfish for once." I never thought I would ever have to learn how to be selfish. I thought I was selfish but I guess it wasn't enough.

I watched the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy today and at the last scene.. Bailey said something like I can't care anymore. I don't want to care anymore because it hurts too much. I think I understand exactly what she's talking about, and I guess in a way, this has confirmed what I thought about these past couple of days.

I think I'm gonna take the choir director job. I feel like God's really pushing me towards that direction even though I have a million worries about it.

Wow, I haven't felt this exhausted in a really long time. I had a great day though. I did most of everything I planned on doing except for one thing. I hope the flowers are okay since I can't visit until Saturday. =\ She's very cute though. The other day I came in, and I guess the nurse fed her food, and she was sleeping with food all over her mouth. There was a bit of snoring which I thought was super funny. I don't think she likes to have her face cleaned with a wet paper towel. That's all they had there. I'll need to remember to bring a towel next time. She's a dear friend even though we can't understand each other. Sometimes language barriers are a blessing. There are many different ways to communicate anyway. -_^

Alrighty, I'm off to bed and ready for a new day!