This chapter was very reaffirming to me.
" If we succumb to fear, we start holding back, and do that all-too-common dance of getting close, and pulling away."
Fear had always kept me from pulling away and that was my struggle. I guess fear can each form an attachment that we can't let go of, or it can cause someone to become distant because of fear of getting hurt, or fear of something else.
"If we live by truth we may have pain, but we will always rest securely within ourselves."
This is one of those ideas that were reaffirming to me; that although the truth causes a lot of pain, I'm developing a deeper understanding of myself and I'm becoming more comfortable with it.
"With complete acceptance of what is, and with seeing through all these superficial desires to the essence of all that is, we will live with peace and love."
"While painful situations are inherent in life-loss, death, hurt, illness- if we accept them as part of life, we do not suffer as much."
If only it was easier to do this. I guess we can always strive to reach this point of acceptance.
"When we try to mold someone into an image of what we want rather than getting to know and appreciate them as they are, we create separateness, frustration, and loneliness. As we become mindful of our demands and less insistent on having things our way, we feel increasingly peaceful and in touch with our compassion and tenderness."
Compassion and tenderness...these two words sound pretty peaceful to me. Having compassion for someone and loving them just as they are, are very much characteristics of Jesus. This has always been my desire but at times it was too difficult. For example, I love my brother, but I definitely don't like the way that he is sometimes. So, instead of showing him the kind of compassionate love that I want to show him, I end up being upset about things that he does. I'm working on it.
"Instead of trying to freeze the present moment and hang onto it, we need to remember that life is a process of constantly letting go. The ego wants dependable rituals and people who stay the same. But to be free means that we enjoy this touch, this kiss, this sunrise, and then let it go. This is sometimes described as not letting the ground under your feet get too solid, not grasping for security or predictability."
For a while, I was trying to understand what "being free" meant. When I read this, it made a lot more sense. It's a big struggle trying not to hold on to memories that were really great but then again, sometimes thinking about those great memories can cause a lot of bittersweet feelings. It's getting to a point where we can think about these great memories, cherish them, and look forward that's tough to do.
"To love each other is to love God and to love God is to love each other--there is no separation."
This is one of the most sacred phrases of Sufism.
Finally, this is the take home message from this chapter:
"As you deepen your commitment to know yourself and make friends with all of who you are, mercy and compassion will emerge naturally as you begin to live from your essence. This, in turn, will free you to give and receive love."
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