So, I had a pretty tough day yesterday and when I came home, I was super tired. I was taking a shower with my eyes closed. That's how tired I was. I met up with someone and we had a pretty intense conversation. That's probably why I was so tired because I was thinking so much yesterday. Who knew thinking a lot would make you extremely exhausted?...Anyway, I guess the thinking and the pain that I'm still feeling at this point just sort of blended into a bad headache.
So today, after work, I just fell asleep in the work van. It was pretty nice actually. I'm not a bad worker or anything. My job is flexible and I basically just set up equipment or pick up. So, once I'm done, I can just go do whatever I want. So, I chose to sleep. It was pretty nice except I don't think I was really sleeping because car alarms kept going off and they wouldn't shut off. I tried sleeping through it anyway, and I guess it sort of worked because I heard myself snoring a bit. HAHA. I woke up when that happened. I always deny it when people say that I snore in my sleep. I call it loud breathing. LOL.
Oh maybe I should mention that I'm in class right now. It's this intro to music class. I sometimes feel like it's useless for me to come to class because I've lived with music all my life. I sing and play instruments. So, when he was lecturing about harmonies and melodies, I was like....uhh....ok, I'm not learning anything new today. boo. Right now we're listening to different songs and breaking the song down and listening to all the different sounds used in that song. I do like the assignments though. My first assignment is to make a sound collage. So, basically I get to make my own 2 minutes of music. Fun!
Anyway, I'm trying really hard not to think...or at least not to think about what happened yesterday and what I was thinking about yesterday. I know I should let go, and even til the end I was fighting. I know I shouldn't be fighting it but I couldn't help it. It'll take time but I'm trying. It's a bit odd that I was fighting so hard because when I really think about the possibilities, I'm not sure if I would really be able to do it. But, for me to even be fighting it....well that's something for me to think about....but not today. Today, I'm not thinking about sad things. Today, I'm thinking about good things like how I got a good nap in, how I'm gonna get to see Liwanag later tonight, how I'm gonna get to go home and hug my mom, and how God continues to provide me with strength when I feel like I can't make it.
Peace!
(This was an entry that I posted for Livejournal. Not that I wanted to create another online journal but it's for an experiment. =\)
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